10. Roll up a poster, pretend it is a lightsaber and demonstrate the Three Styles of the New Jedi Order up and down the main aisle.

09. Enter a booth, point to the largest piece of equipment and say “I’ll take six of these. How soon can I get them?”

08. As you enter the show floor, compliment the security guards on their excellent badge scanning techniques.

07. During the Q&A following the General Session, introduce yourself as an Amway independent business owner and ask the group if you can interest them in some high performance home cleaning and laundry care products.

06. Rappel down Sears Tower using rope braided from lanyards collected throughout the PRINT 09show floor.

05. Collect 3,562 pins, badges and ribbons to challenge Larry Warter’s all-time record.

04. Instigate at catfight between Dr. Joe Webb and Frank Romano.

03. Say “I’ve changed my mind” as you return a stress ball to the vendor you got it from at GRAPH EXPO 2008.

02. Ask if you can use the UV lamps on the presses and wide-format digital printers to work on your tan.

01. See the equipment! See the equipment! See the equipment! See the equipment! See the equipment!

PRINT 09 is THE show for the graphic arts industry. I’ll be there and I hope you will, too! See www.PRINT09.com.